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introducing “eat less, feed more!”

July 6, 2010

Eat less, feed more is about what I’ve learned and where I am along my ongoing weight loss journey. This journey has been going on for over 17 years now…One key shift was recognizing that I had a relationship to my food which I can make conscious choices about. That realization has been a gift that keeps on giving!

Since that first realization, my relationship to food continues to evolve-how I use it, what’s it about for me, its evolving place in my life. Now, food is no longer about ‘eating’–where open my mouth and mindlessly fill myself and assuage an onslaught of hunger. Though this was a true experience for me for a long time. It is also not about any sort of deprivations, or diet. This was a vital lesson too. Here I learned that I was treating food as a source to quell perceived deprivations. There was so much desire about it all. all brain chemistry as it turns out. Addressing these underlying issues involved emotional healing which in turn has lead to immense spiritual connections (internally and externally) and more self balance and immense gratitude. I find myself right now a body in more balance. I seek now to feed myself…and as far as food is concerned that is becoming a simpler and simpler act. I am more a body in balance.

But the awareness, the consciousness….it opened another door. i thought of my spiritual journey as distinct, just as i thought of my weight loss journey and my emotional healing journey as distinct. and guess what? they are not, here at this intersection of integration, i find it has all been royally connected. and now, i can ask, how could it not? 😉 so this journey has made me aware of so many other choices I have…everytime I own that I have a relationship to something or someone…it makes me realize all the things that are in my control about it and opens the doors to choices. for example:  with my body, with my job and place of work, with money, with my childhood, with my planet. this shift has meant acting less like a victim. (such a relief). In fact, its more like,  when I become aware of a victim-y thought (especially when I start feeling sorry for myself), it means that I have work to do internally. That work means finding out what is really true for myself in the place where I am and identifying what choices I have in that situation.

So here it is, July 2010 and I still have so much work I want to do. (see before I would have written ‘should do’; ‘need to do; or simply ‘so much work to do’; see how the “I want” gives it that ownership?) I have just lost 12 pounds for the sixth time (with no exercise).  I am in no way in Great shape or someone ready to have her own Gaiam video. No way, I am STILL overweight and have yet to find joy in motion. Those are some things I want for myself. Still, I no longer experience much emotions around the act of putting food in my mouth–no anticipation, or big hunger pangs, or headaches. I savor the taste in my mouth, i find myself eating much less than I used to, and my body seems to offer hunger as the gentlest of reminders now. i am so grateful to be more in balance and more in partnership with my body in this one area. In my current place, I am more aware of how little food I need…I am shifting the components of my food and eating alot less, without feeling the least bit deprived or hungry.

But this blog is also about what I want for myself in addition to weight loss. miraculously all the same lessons seem to apply. feeding my self, not just my body. feeding my soul, my mind, my pocketbook….conscious choices make up juicy living. it may start with food, but once i started listening, it can be about so much more. for me that apparently is starting to be about writing, and the craft of story telling. So you are welcome to peruse those contributions on the other pages here: Authentic Creations and Mystic Musings.

each week, I plan on offering one piece of ‘low hanging fruit”. a piece of fruit from my journey. The point of this is not for me to talk AT you. Why? Well, for each of us, I firmly believe that our answers lie within ourselves. Buddha said it. my own life has experienced this. no answer can be as good as your answer for you. Your wellness is yours only. so it can authentically only come from within you. So my pieces of low hanging fruit? they are simply going to tell a little piece of the story–one a week–each with questions that will serve as the true offering for you. The questions are for you to digest. Let’s see how long I can spin this tale.

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