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Finding the house of my belonging

February 12, 2010

I would like to introduce you all to the Great Cat of Re. No, this is not a real cat. It is a cat that visited me in my dreams. Such a vivid visit that its presence is with me still…weeks later and I must share it with you because it continues to teach me so much. I named it the Great Cat of Re because of its huge size and especially because–ding ding ding (time to credit the source)–I have been reading the Amelia Peabody mystery series voraciously lately and she had given one of her feline characters this name.

I hadn’t meant to post about this. I just finished writing another post that builds on the ‘feed more’ theme of my last post. I was searching for a name for that post and decided to try this: Finding the house of my belonging. I have been reading a beautiful poetry book  by David Whyte, called the House of Belonging and it speaks to every open and shuttered window of my soul. It fits my post, and yet, as soon as I wrote it, I remembered the great cat that visited. So, for now, this post is for him.

In this dream, my husband and I ‘owned’ this cat (emphasis explained later). In real life, my husband grew up with cats while I am allergic. He had to give his cat up before we got married. I’ve always felt sad about it and it remains my intention to bring up a cat in our home in the near future somehow. So in the dream, it seemed natural that our home now included his cat. Well, this cat was quite large–long and bulky, you know, not fat. It had a habit of disappearing for days and then returning. We would never know where he had gone. Then the dream transitioned into a sitting room, a common room in my own house. All of these people came, and I wondered why they thought they belonged in our home. They all had come because they knew the cat.

This being turned out to be a much more magnificient presence than either my husband or I had noticed. He would leave our house, and walk knowingly to all of these other houses, down streets and roads unfamiliar to the two of us. But he knew who he needed to visit. His purpose, beautiful. With his presence he chose to remind each of these individuals that they were not alone. That life does not need to be about striving so hard, so on our own, alone. I notice you, he said, with no voice, just his being. I care, he said, by his return. All of these individuals were touched in exactly this way by his presence. And they all got it…he was able to carry this message to their hearts, slowly as they looked forward to the surprise of his return visits, slowly accepting another being to love before they could fully accept this love for themselves. Somehow, the cat all lead them back to our place. Now, it was our time to learn–me and my husband.  

Belonging? What is belonging? What is house? This cat, he carried his house with him. He walked the earth strong in his knowing. He belonged to himself. But look, what he chose to do with his presence: he brought belonging to each house he visited. We belong here, in our own knowing, he says, in the love of our own hearts. At the end, perhaps like every loving cat, he brought his deepest knowings to our doorstep, where we lived.  The individuals all entered, with joy and familiarity seeing the Great Cat. Then that lapse of a moment, where all of our unknowings of what we were doing in that room met his steady, ever-present gaze and his constant clear knowing presence. Look at each other, he seemed to be asking. Each of your hearts is the house of your belonging. Rather than deny this, we can accept. and with that choice, to make this greater leap: that we all belong to each other.

Thank you Great Cat of Re.

To readers, I would love to get your feedback too. There is still much to be explored in this dream.

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