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Precious exercise

January 9, 2009

well a new year, and no new year resolutions on my mind. I mean, at least, not like I used to. Now, I try to just really admit to myself what it is i am willing to do versus things that I might like to toy with but not really be motivated on. This, at 40, is a relief and makes things less game-y. So, enter exercise. I need to. Its just that simple. My body only gained two pounds through the holidays. Before, I would tend to judge things from my weight alone. But my body and I talk more now. Its feeling more pudgy and sluggish and I notice i am out of breath a lot more easily now. We don’t have access to a free swimming pool anymore since its winter. So, i have been trying out using the stairs, both at work and at home. We have 3 flights at home and i have my range of upwards to 7 flights at work. I have been doing a few flights this week, but its not a routine yet.

Then, today I read this article on fitness, also from the lovely New York Times. I really love it. I found it precious. I guess it was the extraordinary acts with which these human beings responded to their circumstances. It is not exactly the big gesture that moves me. Its the fragility of their situation. The fragility comes in the attempts to engage more directly with their bodies, the fragileness of the tool they’ve chosen, which is exercise, within the situation of fighting a much bigger disease, to which exercise doesn’t necessarily have a direct relationship. and the rugged beauty of their dogged persistence in choosing the tool again and again. I sure wish i can become a person that can develop this relationship to exercise (and the juicy endorphins!).

I am going to close out on a personal note since I don’t have too many of these on here. I really celebrated 2008 as an abundant year for me. A year where I became more conscious and grateful about my life, the life-energy that comes with that, and my true ability to stand on my own two feet. Grounded. and yet just human. its a healthy mix and one I look foward to more. I also celebrate the growth in my marriage, of the time i had with my husband and the relationship we continue to grow. This year going foward is also full of mysteries. In terms of “goals and planning”, we seem to have the same ones as last year–start a family, find a home, align our sources of income with more joy and happiness. yup, still have those going into this year. yet, a tide has turned. this year, i know i am fighting a different battle than the one I thought i had to fight to attain my goals. This time I am more part of the equation, a co-creator in this quest. It is always a challenge remaining in balance, choosing the ‘right’ focus, and listening to my highest self. I hope to develop a more common ongoing dialogue with ‘her’. 🙂 i really can’t wait to attract certain professional opportunities in my life and continue making a loving space for family in our home. Happy New Year!

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